


Come Morning

by elfriniol



Series: Flawed (Not Broken) [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Coming Out, Mild Language, Other, Soft Kylux, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 18:09:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9197480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elfriniol/pseuds/elfriniol
Summary: True, Kylo liked Hux. A lot. He couldn't imagine his life without talking to him about Star Wars trivia and offering judgmental commentary for shows they occasionally skimmed through on Netflix. Or going out for drinks. But if Hux wanted something else – that proverbial, dreadedmore– Kylo wasn't sure of himself.





	

Kylo took a lot of time before he noticed. Actually, it took two other people to tell him to notice; first Rey with her "you know he's hitting on you, right" and then Poe with his "so how's it going with Hux", and to both he just rolled his eyes and didn't comment. The world didn't revolve around romance and certainly romance didn't find him – he never really wanted to be found in the first place. And yet all he got were questions and winks and significant glances. Was it too much to ask for, to be left out of this?

However, now that he was notified, Kylo just could not unsee it anymore. Not when every one of Hux's subtle, warm gestures screamed at him like red lights at a railroad crossing. Stare that lingered for a tad too long. Smile that popped out for no real reason. Comfortable silence. I'll-get-it incidents when presented with bill for drinks – since then Kylo made a point not to loosen his inhibitors with alcohol lest he slips on something he doesn't really mean. Playful tug at his sleeves. Attention.

True, Kylo liked Hux. A lot. He couldn't imagine his life without talking to him about Star Wars trivia and offering judgmental commentary for shows they occasionally skimmed through on Netflix. Or going out for drinks. But if Hux wanted something else – that proverbial, dreaded _more_ – Kylo wasn't sure of himself.

In fact, he wasn't sure of anything.

He had been holding on for three months, braving through whatever niceness Hux threw his way, feeling tense and guilty and ungrateful, when the New Year's Eve came. Rey dragged Kylo out, talking about how they're gonna be meeting up with Finn and Poe and that he can't possibly can't be left behind when it's the turning of the year. She hasn't mentioned Phasma coming along. And Phasma, of course, dragged Hux along.

"You know, you can't avoid him forever," Rey said somewhere throughout the evening between the second and third round of drinks. Kylo grunted in disagreement. "Why don't you just tell him to stop? You can do that. I'm sure he'd get it."

It's not that, Kylo wants to say. He drinks more instead. Before he can chug down the rest of his glass Rey gently pulls it away from his lips, sets it on the table. "Ben." She calls him that name in a way no-one else does, like it wasn't the given name he gladly divested himself of but a nickname only his little cousin knew. He doesn't correct her – there's nothing to be corrected. "You're allowed to refuse."

"I don't want him gone."

She squeezed his wrist. "I'm sure you can work it out without coming to that. You're smart." Sympathetic smile, then Rey turns away. Kylo doesn't drink the rest of his beer right away; instead he gulps it down when Hux's eyes drift to him in one of many attempts to spark a conversation. Through the curved glass Kylo can't see how Hux creases his brows.

Kylo gets cornered only after midnight struck and everyone was too preocuppied with cheers and gratulations and champagne. He could have seen it coming. He really should have stayed away from booze. He manages a smile, an almost imperceptible tug at the corners.

"Happy New Year, Kylo," Hux says without a trace of salt. As if everything was okay. He leans forward before Kylo can react and he tenses as Hux's lips press to his left cheek, just for a little moment.

And Kylo sees the room hasn't collapsed on itself, nor has begun the apocalypse, nor did he spontanously burst into flames. Everything was okay.

"Happy New Year," he replies. Hux is smiling at him. It makes him glow.

"Wanna watch the fireworks with me?"

Because he's pathetic, because he has nowhere where he would rather be this time of night, Kylo nods, grabs his jacket and follows Hux outside. He watches the fireworks as the dozen color-splashes appearing on Hux's hair; tonight Hux chose to keep them free of any product, if because he suspects Kylo likes it more this way – soft and breezy and brushing over his eyebrows – Kylo doesn't know. Hux pulls him through the crowds, through stone-paved streets, occasionally looking back as if to ensure Kylo is still there even though he has his hand all the time. The smiles, Kylo knows, he won't forget.

They halt by the river, with fiery blossoms overhead and water mirror lying still at their feet. It's nice, away from the chaos and people and alcohol. It's also cold, colder than in the tightly woven streets. Kylo shivers.

"Here," says Hux and wraps his scarf around Kylo's neck, with as much distance as is possible for such action and yet it is this personal, intimate gesture. He might as well could have proposed to him. "You always underdress for the season."

"I don't." He's thankful for the scarf though.

They watch in silence as the prettiest fireworks explode over the ink black sky until it's only the occasional pop and flash that unmistakably signal 1 a.m. of January 1st. As Kylo turns to Hux he sees Hux has been watching him for some time now.

"Can I kiss you?"

"You didn't ask the first time."

"I'm asking now. No is an acceptable answer," Hux adds and Kylo pretends to not notice the slight tremor in his voice.

If the world didn't end the last time, it just might not end this time either, Kylo thinks as he steps closer and leans down by an inch, and then all he knows is the softness of Hux's mouth and the damp warm of Hux's breath against his cheek. It isn't as awkward and strange as he thought it would be; Hux is still before him save for the small, almost timid movements of his lips, as if worried he'd scare Kylo away. Who is he kidding, Kylo _knows_ Hux is afraid he's gonna bolt. He feels a little sorry, then. For having been so cold. For all that damned distance.

Hux looks a bit melancholic as they pull apart and Kylo thinks _shit, you've fucked something up – again – why do you have to screw up everything that had the potential to be nice-_

"Look, if," Hux starts, reaches for Kylo's hand who now is pretty much ready to bolt, "if you don't want to, it's okay. I know I'm bossy and obsessive-"

"No, Hux-"

"-too orange-"

"-Hux." He squeezes Hux's palm to get his attention, to stop this train of thought. "Hux. I really like you. I can't imagine my life without you in it. I just don't know in what way I need you there." There. It's out. Hux is looking at him, expression unreadable. At least he's not trying to get away, yet. "I, it's all my fault; you've been always so nice to me and I never repaid you-"

"You think it's some sort of a debt?"

"No, fuck," Kylo curses – he's becoming frustrated, and when he's furstrated he's snappy, "no." With his free hand he brushes ginger locks from Hux's face, tucks them behind one ear – cold, flushed – drawing some comfort from how Hux leaned into his palm, even though he avoids his gaze. Kylo counts to ten. "I just don't know if I can be what you want me to."

Now Hux looks up, thankgod. "How long have I known you?"

"Uh." Math wasn't one of his strengths. "Three years?"

"And you think after all that time, I'd demand something from you, something you are not?"

It's Kylo's turn to look away, because, well, this sounds somewhat reasonable. Hux pulls at the scarf and Kylo goes with it. "If you think it's you somehow being defective," Hux says as he bumps their foreheads together, "then immediately stop. I'm fine with you as you are."

Cinnamon and pears, Kylo absently thinks as he buries his nose in Hux's fringe. "I'm ace."

"I figured that out. Sort of. Or more like, thought it was quite possible," Hux murmurs into the cold air between them. "And I don't care – in the sense I can't see why that should be an issue. Did you think I cared about you just because I wanted to fuck you? No, scratch that," he adds as he senses Kylo tense, cups his face and runs his thumb over Kylo's brow, "will you give this a chance? Me, I mean. Please."

Kylo knows he will, even before the plea, and he's nodding by the time Hux says it out loud and gathering Hux's slight frame in his arms. He's shivering, Kylo notes, whether from the chill or relief he can't say. Nevertheless, he returns the scarf before they head back, gently tucks the ends into Hux's coat and seals it with a kiss to the tip of Hux's nose. It bears a thought of a promise.

It makes him look forward to the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! come say hi on [tumblr](http://mini-mantis.tumblr.com/) if you are so inclined


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